For The Sake Of Filling Up Space...

For the sake of filling up space, I'm blogging tonight. I know there are people who check my blog regularly, I know there are people who wait for the email updates, and there are those who check periodically, and yet I feel terribly guilty as if I'm letting somebody down by not posting all of our business online. The Internet has made it terribly easy for us to keep in touch with relatives who do not live close or even those who live close by but we don't get to see too often considering how busy life can get, so I love blogging. I really hate talking on the telephone, I really hate telling everyone my business, but for some reason, posting it on here is sort of my way of releasing it, inconspicuously letting you all know about our life and what's going on.

I haven't felt like my normal sarcastic, witty self lately; as a matter of fact, I've been pretty boring and ho-hum so blogging is the last thing on my mind. Remember the really pretty pictures of my kids? Yeah, I still haven't gotten them printed yet or sent off to our relatives because I just am not sure I really care right now.

So tonight I turned on "Good Morning, Vietnam" (which by the way I cannot believe my mother took me to the theater to see this considering the language, but yet it's so cool too) and I figured I would blog. I have some funny and cute pictures of Halloween still saved on my camera, but I have no desire to download them into my computer right at the moment. Since we moved in town and could walk (whose freaking idea was that anyway?!), we decided to celebrate the holiday by dressing up and having some fun. After losing Nigel, it was just the fun we needed.

I have to say I can pull of a Chubby Clown quite well; however, duct-taping two bed pillows around your waist and stuffing oneself into clothing can be quite difficult, let alone walking around town for two hours. Let's not even mention that those pillows were Ty and I's bed pillows and I was sweating profusely, so it was... well... pretty gross if you can imagine. Thank God I am not that fat in real life. I was waddling like a duck, waving at people on the street, and Chip says, "So, are you walking that way on purpose or can't you help that?"

Hmmm... why don't you duct tape some pillows around your body and see how funny you look trying to huff and puff your way around town in clothing ten times too small???

My husband was one hot rock star with make-up...shew... Drey was a nerd, which he did quite well. Sage was a vampire and Zoe was Sleeping Beauty while Rylee pulled off Snow White like nobody's business. You will love the pictures, I promise, but I'm not getting off my rear end to get the camera right now.

Chip was a hunter, Faith pulled off the tooth fairy quite well; Tyler thought he was too cool to go trick-or-treating (insert eye roll here - why do we think we need to grow up so much when we are teens and yet want to act like kids again once we are adults?) so we did talk him into the funny eye glasses/slash mustache look, Kaitlyn was a genie, MaKayla was Little Red Riding Hood and David made a great dinosaur. My mom completed the evening as Frenchie, from "Grease"; however, she was acting a bit too much like Rizzo if you get my drift.

So, as I sit here reflecting on all of that and going on little sleep thanks to anxiety and panic attacks at 3 a.m. until 5:30 a.m. because of the damn dog I loved so much, I wanted to update you on our day.

As you know, Drey and Sage wear glasses, and much to my relief, it has nothing to do with my genetics. They just grew a little faster than their eyes could keep up; therefore, they needed glasses. Zoe and Rylee, on the other hand, have inherited their Mommy's genes, much to my dismay.

I realize this is not my fault. I realize this is just life, and I don't believe for a second that having to wear glasses or contact lenses is a curse. As a parent I feel responsible for everything my children go through whether I can help it or not. God is perfect; therefore, He cannot make mistakes in creating us and He creates us to be the person He wants us to be throughout life, and I have taught my kids that no matter what challenges they face in life. Some of us wear glasses, some of us have disabilities, some of us are born with diseases, and while God is not capable of creating anything bad, He is capable of allowing us to be who He wants us to be for the reasons He wants. Maybe it's because I have had eye surgeries, worn patches, and had glasses all my life that I do not see this as abnormal, but the truth of the matter is, I don't see it as a problem or a curse. I see it as something that makes us different and causes us to stand out above the rest.

Zoe and Rylee now get to stand out above the rest. I have known for awhile that Zoe has seen things blurry and has probably needed glasses. I have known for awhile that Rylee's right eye turns in. For whatever reason I have put it off. Maybe because I know that as a child you don't want to be different, you want to fit in and be a part of the crowd. As an adult I have enjoyed standing out and being different, but it was a lesson learned as a child that taught me to appreciate that.

Today we had our eye doctor's appointment for both of the girls. It appears Zoe is near-sighted and her eyes turn slightly outward, and Rylee is far-sighted while her right eye turns inward. You can't get much more opposite than that. Both of the girls went to the appointment with the hope of getting glasses. They were excited and could not wait. They wanted glasses, and as we left Rylee expressed, "Maybe I can wear a patch too and be a pirate!"

As I walked into the appointment and browsed the section of children's frames while waiting for the doctor to call us back, little did I know I already knew the very ones both of my daughters would pick if they needed glasses. I'm sure most of you can guess too, and thanks to some kick-azz vision insurance, I was able to let them pick the frames of their choice.

****Special note to Tanzan before I forget: Ty has informed me of the discount you are able to get family members. We pay very little for vision insurance and have 100% of it covered. Since we have five out of our six family members now wearing glasses, I consider that a huge blessing. However, I would be more than happy to accept your gracious offer if we need it in the future for some more frames. Since the girls now consider them a cool fashion statement, they may need more than one pair. ;)

As you can guess, Zoe picked out a pair of pink Disney frames with sparkles on the side, and Rylee picked out a pair of purple Disney frames with sparkles on the side, along with a Princess Jasmine charm. They were both sorely disappointed that we had to leave without them today and are now counting down the days until they arrive.

...enough about the glasses, let's see what else I have not shared...

Oh, yes, let's not forget the bleeping IRS and how they are screwing us the bleep around with this home owner's tax credit that new homeowners are supposed to get. This is the reason we have not rescued another dog. I need a dog. My kids need a dog. My husband needs a dog. We have waited 15 years to have a dog. That's a long time only to have it blow up in your face 12 weeks later. You can't explain that to your kids in any way to make them understand. You can't make them sleep better at night, and you can't explain to them that the dog's smell will not last forever in his blanket so they wrap themselves up in it at night to sleep, hoping they can hold onto it as long as they can. You can't explain that we need to put his toys away for now because it won't bring him back if they are left out. And you don't know how to answer your four-year old when she says, "Since Jesus has made Nigel better, can he come back now?"

We need to have a fence in order for us to rescue a dog. I'm not sure I can put the time and energy into another puppy. I consumed myself with training Nigel. I spent day after day finding new things to teach him while reinforcing the stuff he already knew. I had just found out a superb way for him to greet people at the door that was such a positive experience for him (which involved really smelly treats for the people visiting but I didn't hear any complaints), only for it to end so abruptly. I was exhausted, but he was my best friend. He was Rylee's best friend for sure. He was everybody's best friend.

I had just told Ty that I forgot he was still a puppy because he was so obedient and loyal and loving. He knew where he stood in this family. He knew what his responsibilities were and he did so without rebellion, he did it with excitement. Shoot, even my own children don't do things so willingly and I don't think they have ever wanted to please me so much. So true for the Doberman breed. I was warned by several Dobie owners/breeders that if I ever owned a Doberman I would not want another breed, and I now know they are right.

And yet we still need a fence. We had amended our taxes and were anticipating the check by now, only to get a letter from the ^*%#%! IRS asking us to prove we bought the house. WTH?! Are you kidding me? Geeeeez.... So we find out that several people sent the forms in and actually received $8,000 checks that didn't deserve them and now they are red-taping and putting every honest person through the ringer. We aren't even sure now if they will consider the trailer to be a home, thus, denying us the money.

It's no wonder people go postal. Try explaining the government to your kids. Try explaining that getting another dog relies on a fence which needs to come from a check because most rescues will not allow you to adopt a dog without a fence in your yard no matter where you live.

Yeah.

So, I'm really pissed off at the *^%^$! government at the moment and so here we sit, waiting patiently for either a check, a denial, or another letter requesting yet more information in the mail.

Sigh.

And that's about it. That pretty much catches you up on our life. There is more to come... and I promise I won't forget the Halloween pictures. Oh, and let's not forget the much anticipated release of "New Moon". Heavens to Betsy, they should not allow that much hotness in one movie. How on earth will I survive?